A MAN'S FATE IS TO SIT AND WAIT

Banned because of boredom!!!

My wife insisted that I accompany her on her
 trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping
 boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my
 wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
 received the following letter from the local Target.
>
 Dear Mrs. Samuel,
>
 Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion
 in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced
 to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your
 husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video
 surveillance cameras.

>
 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
 people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
 5-minute intervals.
>
 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
 the woman's restroom.
>
 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
 voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
 employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from
 her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
 management to lose time and costing the company money.

>
 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
 M&Ms on layaway.
>
 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
 children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
 and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children
 obliged.
>
 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
 crying and screamed, ' Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
 EMTs were called.
>
 9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
> as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
 asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>
 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
> humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
> look' by using different sizes of funnels.
>
 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
 through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
 assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
 AGAIN!'
>
 And last, but not least:
>
 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
 awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
 here.' One of the clerks passed out.

ARE YOU GUILTY OF THIS?

This made me laugh and I think I will think twice before I drag my hubby shopping again,

Still laughing...

Jeanne

 
 

Comments

[Beverly]

Oh my gosh, Jeanne. This is hilarious. I will definitely be sharing this with the men in my family.

Love you.

[Bill]

Hey I liked your last comment.

Hubby

[Connie]

Truly funny, but actually Love Bunny LOOOOVES going to WM with me. I wish I could stop him because he's always trying to be NICE to the other shoppers by trying to avoid bumping into them with the cart! Drives me nuts. I tell him men shouldn't be allowed in supermarkets; women KNOW HOW to get around much faster without killing each other. I believe there's a certain "code" among us women when shopping that men just don't understand. I can zip through WM in under 20 minutes getting what I need. HE takes his time and waits for women to move while I say "excuse me" and tottle on. He will invariably pick up the wrong kind of food item I want because he doesn't look closely enough at the label. *Sigh*......But I love the man beyond reason and allow him one of his little pleasures of life....
xoxo,
Connie

[dana]

Good morning!! This is so great!!! You gave me lots to smile about today!! Loved your comment to me.....yes I am trying to get ready for the sale, but my brain isn't coming up with new ideas.,....I was thrown off by the date move of the sale!! :(

I'm working on my PS post now for tomorrow. You will get a kick out of it....I think. Still not sure what I'm doing for the 28th PS where we are to post about something inspirational.

Gotta run.....I'm trying to frantically get the house V/Dd before the fisherman returns!! They've caught a few salmon and halibut, but not as many as they had hoped for!

Love, Dana

[Beth at Aunties]

I loved this and Mr could ALMOST relate the first time we read it! LOL Thanks for the smile:)

[Darlene]

I have received that before and it still makes me laugh out loud. It really is TOO FUNNY!!!!!

Lexi is a picky, picky, PICKY eater but I don't worry about her at all. I make her taste a bite of whatever I have cooked. If she likes it fine, if she doesn't fine. I keep plenty of things she DOES like. I was QUITE picky at her age too and now I think I'll eat anything that doesn't eat me first.....lol!!!

Hope you have a FABULOUS weekend.♥

[Pat@Back Porch Musings]

That's why I always check for a bench at the front of the store, where I can chain/leash J until it's time to check out!

Happy weekend, Jeanne!

[racheld]

I'm the one killing time while someone else is shopping, unless it's Goodwill or a bookstore. Those are the only two which survived the loss of my Shopping Gene during birth.

If I'm with Chris, I take a book. (I DO admit a proclivity for whiling away vast amounts of time in the Rubbermaid/Containers section---I LOVE things with snap-top lids).

If I'm with any of the children, I dance, and they HURRY.

[bj]

OMGosh, I remember getting this email a few years ago. Had forgotten how funny it is, tho. :))